EP. 05-3N  Peculiar Vendor Ⅲ (1)

Half an hour later.
……

M99 Human settlement within sight.
How's everybody doing? Can you all make it?

NZ75 Don't make it sound as if we need to use the toilet badly...

Type56-1 But now that you mention it, I feel even hungrier...

M99 Uhh...
Sorry. It wasn't on purpose...

Type97S Don't worry about these two gluttons, M99. Just keep doing what you should be doing...

Rumble...

NZ75 Pffft...
That's your stomach, isn't it, Hawk?

Type97S What're you laughing at? Wanna die?!
If you keep laughing, I'm gonna post your haul from the thrift store last week onto my feed, you hear me?!

M99 Calm down, both of you. Keep this civil...

NZ75 Getting serious now, are we?
Why don't I show everyone the rice porridge you made last time? I'm sure 79 will beat the crap outta you again!

Type56-1 Oh? This isn't really the time to shame each other. Let's all calm down...

NZ75 Ha! I'm surprised you even have the nerve to say anything!
Do you have any idea how many T-Dolls had to get fixed up in the factory because of the mooncake recipe you gave P7? All the reports we had to make!

Type56-1 Huh? How was her prank my fault?!
Then what about the roast pork you made last month? You just chucked all that soy sauce in there! If 92 had seen it she'd have skinned you alive!

NZ75 M-My hand slipped, okay?! Hawk also forgot the oil when she was frying an egg and the pan was completely ruined!
I didn't know how to get rid of all that gunk and finally managed to persuade someone to eat it...

Type56-1 Wait! So it was the two of you!

NZ75 Oops. Didn't mean to spill that...

Type56-1 59 was actually hospitalized because of that, did you know that?!

Type97S Haha... C-C'mon, it wasn't entirely our fault!
I didn't know she'd just wolf it all down! Seriously, she's old enough to chew her food properly!

Type56-1 Stop right there! Don't you dare run away!

M99 Uh... Everyone, please quiet down! Be quiet!

……

M99 Sigh... Why can't things just go smoothly for once...?
Please clear up the hostile units on our way for now, Commander...
I'll catch up when I manage to smooth things out with the team...

EP. 05-3N  Peculiar Vendor Ⅲ (2)

An empty Griffin supply outpost somewhere.
……

Type56-1 What...are we even doing...

NZ75 (Sighs)...
All that fighting has made me even hungrier...

Type56-1 Even this base has been looted...
We're guarding a kitchen but have nothing to eat... How sad...

Type97S Say, Chief... Can't we go?
Hasn't the Commander cleared the way already?

M99 I'm sorry, but it isn't time yet. We can't move until there's a gap in the enemy's patrols.
A Sangvis Ringleader is lurking in the area, and according to intel, she's in control of a Jupiter...
If we expose our presence, not only will we be screwed, even the neighboring human settlements will suffer.

NZ75 Tsk. How long do we have to wait...?
Why should we starve for humans' sake...?

Type97S Hey, has your empty stomach driven you mad? How dare you even say such a thing...
Many people are still waiting at home for the emergency rations we're delivering...

Type56-1 But the problem is...
Those humans aren't actually short on food...

Type97S Huh? What do you mean?

Type56-1 Those supplies...are actually ingredients for the rich to throw banquets with...
They're all of top quality. Otherwise, they wouldn't have been looted so thoroughly.

NZ75 What?! Then why didn't you say so?!
So we've been risking our lives and starving ourselves all this way just to move leftovers for the moneybags?!

Type56-1 I was gonna bring this up when we got there. We could even ask for some if we're lucky...
But at this point, we're going nowhere anyway. Why don't we sneak a bite first...

M99 Hey, don't do it!
Once again, a mission is a mission. We can't unpack others' goods for our own use!

Type97S I also think it's a good idea to bear with it for now and wait till we break through the enemy's blockade...

NZ75 But how are we supposed to fight when we're starving to death...

Type56-1 That's right! The body is the capital for revolution!
Besides, there's only this much left of what we can deliver, and we've been delayed. We'll get scolded even if we make the delivery...

NZ75 It's gonna be hell if we go, and it's gonna be hell if we eat up the goods. It's gonna be hell either way, I'd rather go to hell on a full stomach!

Type97S What kind of argument is that...
Though...you do have a point. Imagine the shame of losing a battle because of hunger...

M99 Hey, not you too...

Type56-1 Chief, this is three against one.

M99 Ugh...

……

NZ75 Now listen. Let's get our story straight. If they ask, we say the goods were lost on the way.

Type97S As long as we're all in this together, nothing can stop us. Let's go!

M99 Is this really the time to quote lyrics...
And I'll allow only one pack - no more than that!

Type56-1 Haha, don't worry! These will be enough to cheer us up!
I have a huge piece of pork here. Still fresh! What about the vegetables, 97?

Type97S Hey, take a look at this persimmon! So red and fleshy. As expected of the city dwellers' food!

NZ75 Tsk. That's a tomato. What a country bumpkin. Can't even tell them apart, huh.
Remember that time when they asked you to bring back some persimmons and you came back with dried persimmon pastries. Type56R took a nibble and couldn't stomach anything else for the rest of the day.
The only good cooks are Type64 and Type88, but 64 keeps hurting herself in the kitchen...

Type97S She's way too delicate. That little princess can cut three of her fingers just popping a can open...
Besides, they may be good at cooking, but they don't use proper ingredients!
Miss 88 makes mapo tofu with tofu pudding! 63 was so pissed she just left!

Type56-1 So that's why 63 threw a fit that time? I had never seen her so angry...

NZ75 63 is also a blockhead herself... The only sort of seasoning she knows how to use is raw chilli!
You know how picky 92 is when it comes to Sichuan cuisine. If she saw that, she'd kick 63 right out of the kitchen!

M99 Hey...I didn't know you bunch have so many issues. You all seem fine working together...

Type56-1 I can put up with anything that comes up during work, but sacrilege against proper cookery is unacceptable!

Type97S Are you really one to talk?
You approved quite heartily that time when NZ put ketchup onto sweet and sour pork!
If I were Chief, I'd send you over to eat potatoes every day with Miss Lee Enfield and Sten!

Type56-1 Huh? Was that NZ?
That tasted really nice, you know. Much better than your so-called "proper" sweet and sour pork...

Type97S What?! You couldn't taste the ketchup?! Is something wrong with your stomach or your tongue?!

NZ75 You mean YOUR tongue, stupid fat hawk! Have all the walnuts you ate yesterday gone to your brain?!

M99 Listen!
Stop fighting, guys! We finally decided to all work together. It's not worth it to start another argument over nothing but a dish...

Type56-1 Chief, that's why you always lose out - you let things pass all the time...

Type97S And what do you mean "nothing but a dish"?! You know nothing about sweet and sour pork!

M99 Uh, sweet and sour pork... Isn't that just ribs seasoned with sugar and vinegar?

...
......

M99 Why...have you all suddenly gone quiet?

NZ75 Just run, Chief. Hawk's gonna break your tiny body bone by bone any second now...

M99 Uh...Hawk, what's with the creepy smile? Cut it out...

Type97S Chief, I've been sincerely happy hanging out with you these days...
But sadly, sweet and sour pork is sweet and sour pork. Not ketchup. Not sugar or vinegar either...

M99 Hey, Hawk! What are you doing?! S-Stay away!

NZ75 H-Hold on! Is that an engine I'm hearing?!

Type56-1 It's Jupiter! Duck!

...BOOM!

...

NZ75 Cough...
Hey, is everyone alright?!

M99 Cough, we're fine... We're all in the bunker. Only the kitchen collapsed...

Type97S Come again?!

NZ75 K...
Kit...chen...?

Type97S 56! 56, are you alright?!

...

Type56-1 ...
Gone...
It's all...gone...